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I had pretty much a lousy childhood. Sure, like anyone, parts of it were wonderful and I wouldn't change those, but I could have used a new set of parents, especially the father one.

It's difficult growing up as the child of a perfectionist. Nothing you do is ever good enough. So in my middle age sometimes I just stop doing things because somewhere in the back of my mind I think I'm not good enough - why bother. Unless forced to do something. Then the voice that at one time was my father's seems to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Take today for example. )

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I bid up to practically the last second, but lost it by $5. It went for $59. I figured it should go for at least $60, so I'm glad I ran it up for them! LOL
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Via CNN:

Round 5

Jul. 19th, 2010 09:22 pm
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There is a squall line of west to east thunderstorms from north of Champaign, IL clear back to Kirksville, MO. I'm just west of the middle. We've had round after round of thunderstorms and torrential rain today, almost 3" in my gauge, and will be hit with round 5 within probably the next hour or so.

Consequently I didn't go anywhere or do much at home today. I trimmed some weeds and unwanted small walnut trees in between storms.

There is a lake around the old oak tree in my front yard. High mph winds like some areas have received really scare me when we've had this much rain because that's what causes big trees to go over at the roots.

I considered watching Toy Story 3 online today, but am not comfortable giving my credit card number for some site like that, no matter how much they say you won't be charged for anything. I assume it's illegal to watch current release movies online as the copy was probably not received through legal channels. Anyway, there are too many online scams now to trust much of anything so I'll limit my online viewing to Hulu & Netflix or networks that have it, although most of those have their shows available via Hulu now. Except for CBS, which is being a stick in the mud as far as online content goes.

Great tornado warning near Kirksville, MO. Hope it stays over that way. Current storm paths seem to be going south southeast.
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Were you part of the popular clique in high school? Did you get a bunch of friends gathering at your locker between classes? Were you welcomed at the specific table at the back of the lunch room where all the cool kids sat?

If you're on LJ or Dreamwidth, probably not. Instead you probably sat at a table in the front of the lunchroom, sat at the front of classes and probably only connected with the "cool kids" when they wanted test answers.

There's one thing I've noticed about these 2 particular blogging sites - very creative and unique people share their lives, art and thoughts with one another. Perhaps that's because I like those kinds of people so that's who I have friended and read. But in general, these blogging sites seem to be places to connect with other creative and unique people.

Facebook, on the other hand, appears to be where all the cool kids hang out. Perhaps again I am limiting my choice of friends, but reading over various random profiles I get the general impression that a good portion of active Facebook members fit the "cool kids" stereotype from high school. For example, very very few of them make up a fannish name for themselves. There's no rule book that says your profile on Facebook has to have your real name! So why do so many people do it? Oh, because it's supposed to be a link to the networking community and you have to use your real name if you want to be connected to old friends, college roomies, your first crush, your first kiss, your first best friend, the first boy who pulled your hair. Give me a freakin' break.

I don't need to reconnect with those friends. The term friend is very dubious in those cases, yet Facebook seems to have made people believe that everyone's your friend, once and forever. Bullocks. If I had wanted to remain friends with those people I would have kept a little black book with their names, birthdates, phone numbers etc in it on the off chance that someday they might become useful to me.

So far I have only found one old friend on Facebook with whom I'd like to reconnect. And he was from college, not high school. And he's just as unique and creative as any of my friends on LJ. He's probably only on Facebook because he needs to promote his business which he has because of his unique talent not because he networked with some old friend, so I'll forgive him for getting in with the cool kids.
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I'm addicted to coffee. Rudely awakened by a severe thunderstorm this AM which killed the power locally for 5 hours. NO COFFEE!!!! I listened to my iPod till it died, then I tried going back to sleep and finally it came back on. So here it is 1:35 in the afternoon and I'm still trying to wake up.....

I think another mug full is in order.
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After 3 days off work I finally felt refreshed enough to tackle some projects around the "farm." Although I did spend over 2 1/2 hours mowing yesterday, I was sunburnt and my back hurt after that so I really didn't get to much last night.

I did start on my deck cleaning/refinishing project yesterday evening, which I've been trying to get to since last year when I bought the products. I finished the brightener application this morning and have to wait a day before applying stain, longer if it rains tonight like they're calling for. I really should have done this Wednesday, but they were calling for rain then too, through Thursday so I didn't. Excuses are too easy.

I also weeded my asparagus patch and have to finish applying the composted manure once the sun goes lower. It's very hot today, 93ยบ with higher humidity than yesterday. Then I cleaned out the chicken coop, a messy job. Not too smelly though. They had spilt their water, so I needed to clean the pine shavings up so the floor could dry. I need to get some sort of fly spray or trap as they are numerous and in the feed.

Cleaning out the coop required much bending over, so I'll have to do some yoga tonight. Thankfully I got motivated enough to do that earlier this week and several times since. I seem to have a very stiff back, probably because of my computer chair. And the mower is horrible. The ground around here is fairly uneven because of mole hills and all the rain we've had earlier this year seems to have made it uneven where it wasn't before. Even the cemetery where I also mow is very bad and you wouldn't think it would be. Maybe I'm just getting old because that kind of stuff never used to bother me. My car is also very bumpy sometimes, but I blame that on the roads.

I also burnt trash and used the dirty pine shavings to fill in some holes in the pasture where we had cows earlier this year which made huge holes where it was muddy because of all the rain. Some of the holes are a foot deep! And I picked and prepared some strawberries from my poor excuse for a garden. Best thing I did last year was buy everbearing strawberry plants! Never expected to still have strawberries in July, nor have I ever had asparagus this late, thanks to the rain and composted manure I put on it last year and this year. I still have a bowl bfull of spears and every day there's another 5 or 6 spears ready. I can't eat it fast enough, I have asparagus for breakfast and dinner! Saves on the grocery bill, although I buy things like potatoes, tomatoes, frozen corn and broccoli still. But I love asparagus and it's expensive as it goes out of season.
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It wasn't horrible although I lost my patience about 20 minutes in when it became obvious the people's kid was a plot device. I found it a little amusing that he was the Wesley Crusher of the show, even allowed to wander around the secret installation unescorted. What super secret installation would allow that? Geez. Then he goes and gets himself captured by the evil villain. That took real genius to write.

I pity anyone who thinks that was a great sci-fi show. I'm sorry LeVar Burton was involved, he didn't get to do much, diddle with some blue-screen displays and chase down a lady. Woo-wooo. He looks good in a white coat though.

And I was right about the product tie-ins and the number of Wal-Mart commercials. Commercials were basically Proctor & Gamble products such as Iams, Tide, Pampers, etc. And nearly everyone tied in to Wal-Mart somehow.

I could have been watching Star Trek 2009 form Netflix. Yes, I know it wasn't called that, but why it was simply called Star Trek I have no idea.
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I will watch LeVar Burton in just about anything. Projects he's involved with are usually outstanding. I don't even have kids and I was saddened when he ended Reading Rainbow. It was very valuable programming.

I don't believe I've even seen ads for this show however and almost everything I'm watching on broadcast TV right now is from NBC, namely America's Got Talent & Last Comic Standing. I did see that they are moving Big Bang Theory to Thursdays this fall. Yea!

Otherwise I'm a bit suspicious of Wal-Mart becoming a movie production company. The plot reads like every 5th episode of Eureka, which I love, and having watched every episode since Season 1, can tell you is perfectly family friendly and funny. Wal-Mart claiming there isn't enough family-friendly TV fare out there so they have to save-the-day is an excuse to make themselves more money in my opinion.

I think I'll watch because I've missed Burton on TV. He's the draw for me. But I'll start throwing things if there are too many product tie-ins. And I'm sure I'll be wishing I had a Tivo to skip all the ads. I can see it being one of those shows with a break every 13 minutes for 2 minutes of commercials.


Jun. 12th, 2010 10:50 am
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Last Sunday I and 2 friends attended an incredibly fun geekfest called w00tstock! It stars the likes of Wil Wheaton!! (after his recent appearances on Big Bang Theory, he should forever after be known as Wheaton!!), Adam Savage of Mythbusters (he of glasses and red hair, not the walrus mustached Jamie) and 2 hilarious songsters Paul & Storm. Plus a host of other guests including, but not limited to because I forgot their names and there was NO PROGRAM, dammit!, Peter Sagal of NPR's "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!" , filker Tim Cavanaugh hilarious in that he reminded me of Red Skelton and did a take off of the '80s Nena hit "99 Red balloons," called "99 Dead Baboons," 3 guys who did voices for Mystery Science Theater 3000, Foxtrot cartoonist Bill Amend, a YouTube sensation named Molly Lewis who plays the ukulele to filked songs like Britney Spears "Toxic," and a guy who writes really creepy children's rhymes.

Next time I attend one of these events, I'm taking a notepad so I can write down who did what. I was so in the moment most of the time, I just went with it and didn't take mental notes.


May. 26th, 2010 01:59 pm
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The most disturbing photo among all these is the dragonfly. If the insects are effected, every living being or plant in the Gulf will be effected.

Generations to come will know it as the Dead Gulf.
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Local news station's coverage of President Obama's visit to the "tri-state" area.
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At one time I was leery of the CFLs because of the mercury, but if they're handled carefully and disposed of properly, it shouldn't be a problem.

The site also has a lot of little ways to conserve energy and is a good resource for charitable involvement:

I recently began using CFLs in my kitchen and the equivalent wattage to incandescent bulbs is brighter from CFLs, so not only do they save energy but help you see better too! A plus for us middle-agers!
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Am passing up the opportunity to see President Obama in town tomorrow. At one time I would have been over the moon to find out he was visiting here, but the shiny shiny has worn off. While I believe he's doing the best he can with a completely fucked up government, he's no longer my political idol. Don't think it's possible to have one of those and probably dangerous anyway.

I'm sure there will be plenty of people showing their support for him, although taking the trouble to stand outside in the chilly, rainy weather for tickets doesn't necessarily mean you support someone. I bet there will be plenty of "tea-baggers" there to wave their signs of protest. "Nobama-care," etc.

I thought about this the other day, how divided the country has been, not since 9/11, but since the war in Iraq. Almost every poll, even the little boxed ones CNN does on their website, are 50/50 on everything!

Why is it like that? Were things so evenly split in the '60s over Vietnam? I always see the Vietnam protests as having been led by people under 30. The older generations were all about duty. We've not had a draft in 40 years.

I'm very liberal about some things, and believe in individual liberty, but there is a price for all that freedom and it's coming due.


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